drabble: The Preposterously Violent Obsessions
by Kitara Lira
Summary: drabble/crack!ship. Warning: Course Language.


**_::drabble: The Preposterously Violent Obsessions::  
><em>  
><strong>_K.L._

**WARNING: CONTAINS COURSE LANGUAGE**

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><p>Rachel Berry truly loved her girlfriend (even if she was occasionally sharp) there was no doubt. Quinn was beautiful, sweet, thoughtful, romantic, and in possession of abs that could give Mike Chang a run for his money. What wasn't to love?<p>

Oh right. That.

If Rachel Berry had to be honest (which she often was) she would say Quinn was perfect, with a few flaws. Which was perfectly okay. Because no one was perfect. Well no one aside from her of course.

But these flaws, you're curious about these flaws. What could these be? Quinn was the Queen of McKinley, the poster child of perfection (minus the gay, but most of Lima oddly enough chose to overlook this fact and of course it had nothing to do with the fact that said gay had a glare that could melt and guns that won every show). Flaws –pffttt- what are flaws?

Bacon and zombies.

Yes that is correct. The blonde queen found her flaws in the form of what Rachel Berry dubbed the "Preposterously Violent Obsessions" cut down from the previous title of "Quinn how could you even think to consume anything that once possessed a face, feelings and family! And then think to kiss me with your gross grease swing killing mouth! And then move on to slaughter innocent video game creatures, whom might I add look like they've seen better days, while screaming profanities and hateful glares at them!"

Needless to say the shortened version was much appreciated.

It was these PVO's (for short) which led to this current moment.

"Get back here you dirty piece of Solanum infected fucking shit!" Head set donned, controller in hand, the beautiful Quinn Fabray sat on the edge of her seat, having a flip shit at the television before her, "Fuck Puckerman, go left! Left!" The piercing shrill of a car alarm broke the "silence" of the room, "God fucking damn it Finnocence I'ma kill you! Kill you! Re-group re-group!"

Whistling a tune (that was no doubt from some musical some many eons ago) Rachel came skipping into the room, a broad smile encompassing her lips, "Oh Quinnie-bear!"

The only offer of acknowledgement was a slight turn of the head and the puckering of lips.

Un-phased, the brunette pranced forth, planting a kiss on the awaiting lips which earned her a rushed, "Hey babe." Followed by a much louder, "What the fuc-"

"Language dear," The brunette scolded offering the blonde her best 'bad-ass' glare.

"Huh?" Hazel eyes did a double take, leaving the screen for the first time since her girlfriend had made an appearance, "Sorry babe. AH! What the hel-heck Santana!"

The sound of a whip filtered through the televisions speakers, "So fuckin' whipped bitch it ain't even funny!" Followed by ear shattering laughter.

"Hello to you too Santana." Rachel had now pulled the headsets microphone away from Quinn, speaking cheerfully into the device, "Might I remind you of the incident that took place exactly twenty-six days, twelve hours and forty-two minutes ago wher-"

Again the sound of a whip filtered through the speakers followed by a distinctly male laugh, "Oh snap! Whatcha gonna do now bi-"

"Finish that sentence Puckerman and I'm gonna make sure you never see the Puckasaurus again!"

The banter went on for several more moments and Rachel was more than content to cuddle her girlfriend (or as possible as cuddling can be when one of the participants is brandishing a controller).

Of course as all Rachel Berry game watching sessions went the silent cuddling didn't last long.

"Quinn!" The diva shot up from her tranquil position that involved her head resting in Quinn's lap, "H-h-how could you!" Tears filled her chocolate orbs, "You blew up the poor green man! I understand he may have been obese and really rather atrocious looking but was it necessary to kill him?"

Even in the two years they'd been dating Rachel never seemed to quite understand.

"Rach! These pieces of shi-scum are trying to chew my aszzzrrse out, course I got to shoot the fat a-er arse bas…erm..twit! He was gonna slim vomit on me! That brings the fuc-frapping hordes!" Two years and Quinn still found herself filtering her words (but only during the moment of heated battle against the infected hordes and never in bed because well bed was THE place for filthy words… sometimes).

As per normal the puppy eyes and protruding bottom lip was Quinn's undoing.

Tossing the controller to the ground (ignoring the screams of her teammates) Quinn was kneeling before her girlfriend wiping away her stray tears (fake or not), "Oh hey babe, you know I love you." There was a nod, "And I know you hate it when I kill things," Another nod, "But these guys? They're bad. Like real bad. And if I don't kill them, they're going to take over the world and kill thousands if not millions of innocent people. And what if one of them was you?" Pools of water began to gather in the blonde's hazel eyes, "I c-c-could never bear the thought. I-I don't know what I'd do, I-"

A slender finger silenced the near sobbing blonde, "Shhh, I'm not going anywhere Quinn." A tender kiss, "You're stuck with me," Followed by the cheesiest, broadest and brightest smile the world had ever seen, "I love you."

"I love you too," Whispered the blonde leaning up to capture another kiss.

"Now go save me from the hordes of obese green, long tongued, heavy smoker and desperately in need of a facial creatures!"

Of course Rachel Berry loved her girlfriend. Even if her flaws were preposterously violent. They were with just cause, her knight and shining armour protecting her from the evils of the world!

Well not the bacon. That was not just. Nor protecting.

But Rachel Berry never gave up! And Quinn never knew her beloved bacon was slowly being replaced by a vegan friendly substitute.

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><p><strong>AN: **Welcome to my crack!ship where life is amazing and caffeine filled! Join me on my ship! No seriously I have a ship. It's in my tub. With my duck.

But no seriously. Review. Review hard if you ship zombiehunter!Quinn

Bonus points and love to those who know everything I referred to in this piece. Also this is my attempt to deviate from my more "depressing" pieces. Did it work?


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